She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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