PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was born a porn star she said
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
