My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
