It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize