She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm really busy with my period
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