You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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