3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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