How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize