Yo dont text me then not text me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
