We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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