the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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