All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
