Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
