the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
