Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
