they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
