I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
