I wish I could teleport
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
