So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
