I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize