I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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