idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
