I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
