This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
