That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize