Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
