I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
