Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
