So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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