I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
