idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
True but thats because hes a fetus.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
