she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
