soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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