he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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