I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
