So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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