I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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