she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
