He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
