i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize