yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
