omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
