Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
