toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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