so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
