I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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