Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
