THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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