like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
