the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
