Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
