New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
honey bunches of taint.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
