You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
