Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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