never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
