in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
