i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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