Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
