just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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