btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
