Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize