i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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