this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
