Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
