At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
