Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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