I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
